Pink car means no taste
7 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 107 votes, average: 6.57 out of 10 (7 votes, average: 6.57 out of 10, rated)

Jez Pick - A Chav

How to spot a chav car

You may be wondering how to spot a chav car. Fucking imbecile, it’s not hard. Anyhow, just in case you are; here are ten ways to spot a chav and his chav-mobile.

  1. The chav will most probably be wearing burberry and cheap gold from Argos. Remember, they have no taste and it gives them away.

  2. The chav will stare at you, because he thinks he’s hard. He’s not. He’s a twat. Be sure to tell him so. “Oi, chav… yer a twat!” should do the trick.

  3. His car will be shit. This one’s a giveaway sign. He’ll drive a small, cheap car because that’s all his benefit, or fudge packing job will allow him to buy. He will think he’s driving a Subaru Impreza, he’s not. Tell him so.

  4. His car will have lights on it that flash in sequence. It’s a special code that means ‘I am a twat, with a shit car. Laugh at me and tell me so”.

  5. He’ll be a twat.

  6. When he sits in his car, he will barely be able to see over the steering wheel. This is because he is a twat, and is under the impression that by lowering his seat he somehow looks ‘cool’. He doesn’t… don’t forget to tell him so.

  7. His car will sound like your dad’s hedge trimmer. This is because he’s fitted a Halfords exhaust on a car with a tiny engine. He thinks it makes his car sound powerful. It doesn’t. You know what to do.

  8. The chav moves in herds for protection. You will find them in McDonalds car parks, and other areas where they can gather to congratulate each other on their impressive beasts. This is a good opportunity to strike, scattering them as they flee in terror.

  9. Don’t forget, the chav is a twat.

  10. Finally, and most importantly, the chav drives a very slow car, but is under the mis-guided impression that it’s fast. Race him, he will most likely kill himself as the weight of his fibreglass add-ons cause his car to topple on bends. Remember, the more chavs you kill, the more bouqets of flowers are left on roadsides. Boquets are nice, they brighten the place up. Kill a chav, make your town look nice!